Biblical Masculinity: What it means to be a healthy man
As a Christian man, husband, father, and therapist, I have often wrestled with the definition of “What does it mean to be a man?” or in other words ‘Biblical Masculinity’. Especially now in a culture that is so quick to throw out the phrase “Toxic Masculinity”, it can get pretty confusing on what is expected from us as healthy men. Not only that, but many people believe masculinity and manhood is outdated and just a “social construct”. But if we take a step back, look at the Word of God, we can see clearly that masculinity is indeed Biblical and absolutely necessary.
Masculinity in and of itself has always been something that I misunderstood on some level because of many of the examples of masculinity in media and many of the men that I observed around me as a child, teen, and adult, and as a direct result, my misunderstanding of who Jesus is. Jesus is the best example of healthy masculinity.
As a young man, I often thought to myself; “Is masculinity the ability to prove the people around me they are wrong?” or “Is masculinity being able to hold back my emotions and not let people know what I’m feeling?”, or “Is masculinity never surrendering and being the loudest, last person standing in an argument?”. I’m sure I had many other versions of these questions that came up throughout the years. I’m thankful that God in His mercy and grace was able to provide me with some of the best support through the many men and mentors that he placed in my life. I was never alone in the process of becoming a man, even though at times it felt like it.
I want to turn your attention to the Word on what does it mean to be a healthy man. If anyone was ever an example of that, Jesus has got to be at the top of that list! Jesus is the perfect model of biblical masculinity, demonstrating strength, humility, leadership, and love.
1. Jesus Showed Strength Through Self-Control and Sacrifice
Jesus endured the cross without retaliation (Luke 23:34, Matthew 26:53-54). Jesus had the power to call down legions of angels to stop His suffering, but He willingly endured the cross to fulfill God’s plan. True masculinity is not about physical dominance but about having the strength to endure hardship for a greater purpose.
Strength is not about always winning or fighting—it’s about discipline, self-control, and sacrificial love.
2. Jesus Led with Humility and Servanthood
Jesus washed the disciples’ feet (John 13:12-17). In a culture where washing feet was the job of a lowly servant. It’s also important to consider that people at that time didn’t have Nike socks and Hoka shoes to protect their feet and keep them as clean as we are able to. More often than not, their feet were in really rough shape. Jesus knelt and did it Himself. He told His disciples that leadership is about serving, not seeking power.
Biblical masculinity is about servant leadership—whether leading in a family, workplace, or church, true leaders serve others.
3. Jesus Defended the Weak and Confronted Injustice
Jesus protected the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). When the religious leaders wanted to stone the woman, Jesus stepped in, exposing their hypocrisy and showing mercy. He neither excused sin nor condemned her—He called her to a higher standard (“Go and sin no more”).
A godly man stands up for the vulnerable, fights against injustice, and shows both truth and grace.
4. Jesus Expressed Emotions in a Healthy Way
Jesus wept for His friend (John 11:35). When Lazarus died, Jesus didn’t hide His sorrow—He openly wept, showing that true masculinity allows room for emotions. Jesus also showed righteous anger when He cleansed the temple (Matthew 21:12-13), proving that anger is not sinful when directed at real injustice.
Suppressing emotions isn’t strength—Jesus showed that a man can be compassionate, weep, and still be fully strong.
5. Jesus Resisted Temptation with the Word of God
Jesus overcame Satan in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11). When Satan tempted Jesus with power, pride, and pleasure, He responded with scripture instead of falling into sin. He demonstrated discipline and reliance on God rather than worldly desires.
Lesson for Men: A godly man fights temptation with God’s truth, not his own willpower.
6. Jesus Invested in Other Men and Built Brotherhood
Jesus mentored and discipled the twelve (Luke 5:10-11, Matthew 28:19-20). Jesus didn’t isolate Himself—He surrounded Himself with men, mentoring them and calling them to something greater. He encouraged them, corrected them, and prepared them to continue His mission.
Biblical masculinity includes strong, godly friendships where men sharpen and challenge each other in faith.
Conclusion: The Perfect Model of Manhood
Jesus wasn’t weak—He was strong, but His strength was defined by love, sacrifice, and holiness.
He wasn’t prideful—He led with humility and served others.
He wasn’t passive—He confronted sin and stood up for truth.
He wasn’t emotionless—He wept, rejoiced, and expressed righteous anger.
He didn’t sin—He resisted temptation through the Word of God
He wasn’t isolated—He made disciples and had friends around Him.
Personal Challenge
Considering these points about Jesus’ perfect example of masculinity, please consider these two questions for yourself and you can journal on them or talk to someone about them.
What aspects of Jesus' masculinity do you need to grow in today?
How can you reflect His leadership, strength, and humility in your daily life?
Finally, to anyone reading this that feels alone in their journey of becoming healthy and understanding themselves, just know that you are not alone when you have Jesus. In him you have a friend (John 15:15). Not only do you have Jesus, but you can also reach out for help! There are plenty of healthy and strong men who want to bless other young men in their journey, you just have to reach out and ask for help!